From the article: Five Simple Rules for Dating with IBS
Dating with IBS presents some unique challenges. IBS bodies often choose the most inconvenient time to act up, adding an interesting twist to a budding romance. In order to reduce the sense of isolation that IBS sufferers often experience, I offer you a place to share your tales of dating disasters or heartwarming stories of true love. What has your experience been in terms of dating with IBS? Share your story here - the good, the bad and the embarrassing. Tell Your Tale!
Years of loneliness
- My life seemed unstoppable and fearless until this dreaded ibs-d has taken complete control of my life in my mid twenties. Its ruined my marriage my social life and any relationship. Not everybody is supportive about the condition. I've dated girls that have made me feel so small and embarrassed when I would have bad flare-ups. Yeah its true. I wish just once to meet a woman that is supportive like these stories Ive read. I've come to realize that their are more mean people than compassionate in life. I've given up on relationships. I've chosen to just live a lonely life because its easier, safer. Years have passed, now 40yrs old and so depressed. The anxiety I have because of the fear of a flare-up around company keeps me locked up in my house. I can't believe how something so stupid (diarrhea) has turned the light off in my life. I hate this life god has given me.
- —Guest Mr Lonely
Used to Try to avoid dinner dates
- When i was on the get-to-know phase stage with my bf, i try to avoid the topic of eating out or going out with him. He would drop hints of nice restaurants or so but i would casually say the food they serve are not my type. One day on a weekend work i was surprised that he was waiting for outside the office. I felt comfortable with him, chatting and all and he invited me to go to a nearby mall to get dinner. Everything was fine until i felt this bad attack on my tummy. Good thing my phone rang and i've got on-call work and have to rush back to the office (blessing in disguise). By then i thought work will be a good excuse to exit from date.. But telling him the truth was better. He was supportive about it and understands if i have to go to toilet during a date meal.
- —Guest Ria
- been dating on and off. i think every date is self improvement, especially having ibs. life is good. we gotta find some way of living like normal people.
An Ass-tronomy Adventure
- I was invited by my boyfriend to go with him on a hilltop astronomy viewing as part of his college astronomy class. The site was 15 miles up into the hills with no bathrooms. We carpooled with his classmate, who drove us the 45 minutes up the windy road. Half way up, I began feeling that deep "drop" feeling in my midsection, followed by intense cramps. I knew I wouldn't be able to suffer through this one, as we would be there for at least a few hours. I held it in and we got to the top of the hill, where I had started sweating because of the pain of trying to hold in the most ferocious diarrhea ever. But when the teacher began his lecture, I knew I was doomed. I interrupted the class, panicking, to ask for a bathroom, and was directed to the dark woods. I ran, and barely made it to a big tree, using my underwear as makeshift TP. Later I found out the tree was covered in poison oak. I sat out the rest of the class, exhausted. I asked my boyfriend never to speak of it again.
- —Guest Natalie
A Nightmare in Aspen
- I went to pick up a woman for a first date. I was dressed to the nines, her firey red hair looked amazing. She needed a few more minutes to get ready, so I waited patiently. All of the sudden.......montezumas revenge.......I used her powder room, only to discover the toilet was broken! How embarrassing. Fortunately, things went well. Until she left me for my friend Lloyd.......Ugh.
- —Guest HarryDunne
- I have had ibs for 12 yrs and with lots of embarrassments from job interviews to dating, till i had to hold it down with dating. i miss having a girlfriend.vvi need some help to get back my confidence.
- I was in a meeting at work, and I was sitting next to my crush. Then I let out one of those silent vapor farts that cannot be suppressed because there is no warning. Well, the guy backed up quickly into the wall and stayed there the rest of the meeting. I felt humiliated and I'm sure my face was flaming. That stopped any sort of flirting between us! But I can laugh about it now with my friends! :)
- —Guest Cecilia
- I was on at the coast with my girlfriend. I had eaten some clam chowder and fish & chips before we were to head to the beach about four miles down the road. Before I left I felt a slight gurgling, but since I had been constipated the entire trip I didn't think much of it and did not want my stomach to interfere. We were about a mile from the beach when I started getting really bad cramping and the urgency to go right away. I was in no-man's land because I was about four miles from our hotel and four miles from the next city where there was a Wal-Mart with a bathroom I could use. So I had to grit my teeth and and just keep going to straight. We finally get into the Wal-Mart parking, I turn the car off and hop out, only to see it start to roll with my girlfriend in it, because I didn't put it in park. Luckily I hopped back in and got it in park and then did a run-waddle into the Wal-Mart. Luckily I found the bathroom and we laugh about this story quite a bit now.
Trip with my guy...
- My boyfriend of 7 months and I were going on our first trip as a couple to my brothers house 3 hours away. I had told him about my having ibs, but had never had problems around him miraculously and hadn't gone into details of my condition. Always fearful of an ibs flare up, I ate very healthy for the day of and days before the trip. Then 45 minutes into the drive, my ibs d flared up. I told him I was having problems and needed a bathroom much to my embarrassment. We ended up stopping 4 times due to my diarrhea, but he was very sweet and understanding about it. After that, I have been very comfortable talking with him about my ibs and he has been really supportive and understanding. That embarrassing trip wasn't as bad as my fears.
- —Guest Ibscollegegirl
- I just started seeing this guy that i worked with after a serious breakup. We planned the perfect date: dinner and a movie afterwards. We had just finished eating at a pub with alot of greasy food and were on our way to the movies. Riding along in his car with the windows rolled down i started to feel anxious. I didn't know why but i felt something in my stomach. All of the sudden i felt it hit and i was racing to the bathroom at the nearest K-Mart. I literally ran in the doors and asked the first person i saw where the restroom (at the back of the store) was because it was urgent. I made it to the restroom a little late but luckily i was wearing a pad for my period. I was in there for what seemed like hours. Meanwhile my date was shopping K-Mart. I felt so bad but i popped some imodium and was able to make it home. Now we are happily married and he never makes me feel embarrased when i have symptoms flare up.
- —Guest Tam
Never Trust a Fart
- I was in a new relationship, the first after my divorce and I suffer from terrible gas and bloating from IBS. I was trying to be "slick" and let out some wind (as I knew it would not smell) and I would relieve some of my pressure BUT the "wind" was accompanied by a "mudslide". I had to excuse myself, freshen up and remove my soiled underoos. I threw them in the trash and went commando for the rest of the night. Thankfully, he was none the wiser...we are getting married in October 2010 - and I have finally told him the truth! With IBS, if you can't laugh at yourself, you'll cry!
- I remember my first date with my now wife. I was so nervous and felt she was way out of my league. She decided to make me dinner and lo and behold my ulcerative colitis flaired. OMG was I in pain and to make matters worse she had a very small place….the bathroom had paper thin walls and a very bad exhaust system if you know what I mean. I had to suffer until the date was over….it went well but it may be the most uncomfortable night of my life. I got home and thought I was dying…..but I just couldn’t have used her bathroom….I could have blown the whole thing…after all in my mind she was way out of my league. Fifteen years later we are fine and she has been my savior when my UC has been bad.
- —Guest Mark
- I had just started dating this new guy. He took me to a backyard barbecue at his friend's house. I had the runs so badly that I spent what seemed like hours in the bathroom. Unfortunately, there was only one bathroom and the guys were drinking so much beer that they kept knocking on the door. A little while later, there was no more knocking. I found out my new guy told his friends to pee behind some trees, since I was sick. He eventually just took me home. In spite of that bad experience, he turned out to be a great boyfriend who is really supportive of my IBS.
- —Guest ALLY
- As I was meeting my boyfriend's family for the first time, I was so nervous that I dropped my pocketbook. As I bent down to pick it up, out came the loudest fart! I was so embarrassed, but my boyfriend's mother immediately told me a story about farting on a job interview and I felt so much better!
- —Guest kenzie