Managing IBS and Your Sex Life

Irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) can have a negative impact on many aspects of life, including your sex life. Who wants to have sex when you're feeling lousy? Plus, spending so much time dealing with bathroom issues can make it very hard to feel sexy. For some people with IBS, the fear of losing bowel control results in further avoidance of sexual intimacy.

Smiling couple laying on sofa — JGI/Jamie Grill/Getty Images

A sex life with IBS can be a daunting proposition. However, since healthy sexual functioning is an important part of the human condition, it's essential that you do not give up on your sex life because of your IBS.

IBS and Erectile Dysfunction

Quality of life issues related to IBS have long been overlooked by the medical profession, and the impact of IBS on sexual functioning is no exception. Thus, it may not be surprising to you to learn that not a lot of research has been conducted in this area. However, one recent study did show that men with IBS have an increased risk of erectile dysfunction.

IBS and Survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse

One research focus regarding sex and IBS that has received some attention is the fact that a history of sexual abuse has been associated with an increased risk of having IBS. Some studies have also found an association between childhood emotional abuse and IBS. This results in a double whammy of potential sexual difficulties in those with IBS who have survived these kinds of abuse.

The Importance of Intimate Communication

The key to having a sex life with IBS is through open communication of your needs and fears with your partner. True intimacy comes from sharing your innermost thoughts and feelings. Although it may be uncomfortable to discuss your bowel symptoms with your partner, doing so will only serve to bring you closer.

Granted, not all sexual partners are supportive and understanding. If you're in a long-term committed relationship with a non-supportive partner, couples counseling may be needed in order to help the two of you to open or re-open healthier lines of communication.

If you're only dating a non-supportive partner, it should be a red flag. If the other person is incapable of attending to your emotional and physical needs early on in the relationship, he or she is probably not a good prospect for a long-term commitment.

A Word From Verywell

Don't be ashamed of your personal needs. You didn't ask for IBS. It's something that has happened to you. Remember that you share all of your unique gifts with your partner, and that means your unique needs as well. Your partner is also not perfect, as he or she brings his or her own blessings and baggage into your partnership. You may benefit from individual or couples therapy if you need help in learning to communicate your challenges and needs to your partner.

8 Sources

Verywell Health uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

Andrae DA, Patrick DL, Drossman DA, Covington PS. Evaluation of the Irritable Bowel Syndrome Quality of Life (IBS-QOL) questionnaire in diarrheal-predominant irritable bowel syndrome patients. Health Qual Life Outcomes. 2013;11:208. Published 2013 Dec 13. doi:10.1186/1477-7525-11-208
Ballou S, Keefer L. The impact of irritable bowel syndrome on daily functioning: Characterizing and understanding daily consequences of IBS. Neurogastroenterol Motil. 2017;29(4):10.1111/nmo.12982. doi:10.1111/nmo.12982
Christensen B. Inflammatory bowel disease and sexual dysfunction. Gastroenterol Hepatol (N Y); 10(1):53–55. PMID: 24799840
van Tilburg MA, Palsson OS, Whitehead WE. Which psychological factors exacerbate irritable bowel syndrome? Development of a comprehensive model. J Psychosom Res. 2013;74(6):486–492. doi:10.1016/j.jpsychores.2013.03.004
Sansone RA, Sansone LA. Irritable Bowel Syndrome: Relationships with Abuse in Childhood. Innov Clin Neurosci. 2015;12(5-6):34–37. PMID: 26155376
Enck P, Aziz Q, Barbara G, et al. Irritable bowel syndrome. Nat Rev Dis Primers. 2016;2:16014. Published 2016 Mar 24. doi:10.1038/nrdp.2016.14
Gerson MJ, Gerson CD. The importance of relationships in patients with irritable bowel syndrome: a review. Gastroenterol Res Pract. 2012;2012:157340. doi:10.1155/2012/157340
Silk DB. Impact of irritable bowel syndrome on personal relationships and working practices. Eur J Gastroenterol Hepatol. 2001;13(11):1327-32. doi:10.1097/00042737-200111000-00011

Additional Reading

Defrees DN, Bailey J. Irritable Bowel Syndrome: Epidemiology, Pathophysiology, Diagnosis, and Treatment. Prim Care. 2017;44(4):655-671. doi:10.1016/j.pop.2017.07.009
Hsu CY, Lin CL, Kao CH. Irritable Bowel Syndrome Is Associated Not Only With Organic but Also Psychogenic Erectile Dysfunction. International Journal of Impotence Research. November-December 2015;27(6):233-8. doi:10.1038/ijir.2015.25.

By Barbara Bolen, PhD
Barbara Bolen, PhD, is a licensed clinical psychologist and health coach. She has written multiple books focused on living with irritable bowel syndrome.

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